Language

Well I think one of the problems is definitely the milk.  We had switched to lactose-free milk when we stopped the formula after 4-5 months home, but over Christmas we ran out of lactose-free milk.  Today Jake had nothing but juice and then some of, as he says, "my kind" of milk.  He knew something just wasn't right about the milk and so last night I just told him that we would get some that wouldn't hurt his tummy.  So today when getting ready to drink it he said "my kind?".  It was precious. 

He's also sitting still a lot longer to listen to me read to him at nighttime.  After we read a few books, I sing to him.  Of course, I sing Jesus Loves Me, and so a couple of nights ago, I started each line but left off the last word...which he then filled in.  Cracked me up how much he knew.  The only mistake he makes is that he wants to say "they are strong (instead of weak), but He is strong".  Hmmmm....very telling of us all isn't it?  We just think that we're stronger than we really are.  But yet we are so weak.  We desperately need Him.  The last number of months has shown me more and more how much I need the grace that comes from and through Christ.  Without Him, there is no hope.  But with Him, all things are possible.  I'll try to record Jake singing this and post soon.

The other thing that Jake is saying right now is "mean".  Everything is "mean".  He's just a reflection of us it seems at times and I certainly have heard a number of us say things like "don't do that; it's mean".  But he is saying it about everything and then laughing and laughing.  He thinks it's hysterical.  Kind of like when he first got home he was fixed on "Bop it" which was "Stop it".  I must have said that a lot.

All in all his language skills amaze me!  He is starting to speak in short, but full sentences.  Please pray that I will use my words to encourage him and the others and that I will be always mindful of the power of words. 

My little man's not feeling well

I am so sorry for not posting as I said I would a few weeks ago.  Last night I sat down and typed and typed, but still no post.  I don't know what the Lord wants me to say.  It's the strangest feeling.  I have so much to say about adoption, but I just don't feel fully released to share my thoughts just yet.  I will say that it definitely ranks right up there as the hardest thing that we've ever done (right alongside watching my oldest struggle medically for nearly 2 years) but it is also one of the best decisions that we've ever made.  It is changing us!!  By the way, have I ever mentioned that I am married to one of the best men ever?  I know many of you would say the same, but I just can't say enough good things about my husband right now.  He is my rock!  And it is so neat to see God doing so many things in and through him.  I am so grateful that God blessed me with him.  I have so much to say about my man and especially about his relationship with Jake and Andrew, but that is the subject of another post I'm afraid. 

For now, if you're reading this, please pray for my little Jake.  In many ways I feel like a first time mom.  Things are the same as with my others, but in many ways they are so different.  A couple of weeks ago Jake started blinking especially hard.  He's continued to do that.  With his slightly abnormal CT and diagnosis of CP (and with my background in clinical research on epilepsy), it has been a little concerning to me.  The last couple of days though I think it may be more allergy related or pink eye or something like that.  I'm just not sure.  He also just doesn't seem to feel real well....cries a lot throughout the day and then is awake off and on through the night.  Andrew did have a really bad stomach virus on Christmas Day so maybe Jake has a touch of that.  I don't know.  I'm just tired and thought if you feel led, you might pray for my sweet little guy.  I also think he might have an issue with milk. 

Merry Christmas to you all!

Distracted

Please, if you have been following along and are either praying for us, curious about adoption, considering adoption, please stay tuned.  I have so much to blog about.  I apologize for leaving you hanging but I have been terribly distracted.  Please forgive me and check back for an update either tomorrow or Wednesday.

Some pictures

Well, things continue to go well.  I just can not put into words how God is using little Jake to change our lives.  He was using Jake even before we knew him.  Just the thought of adoption some ten years ago was beginning to change us. 

 

I've included some sweet pictures.  Tonight we went trick or treating which is a pretty new thing for us.  Earlier in the afternoon the children (minus Jake) along with a couple of their friends passed out invitations to our church's walk through drama.  They did this without me as I stayed back and prayed, worked, etc. while Jake was napping.  So we then followed this up by going to just the few doors on our street and one street over tonight for goodies.  It was a good time connecting with neighbors and a precious time watching Jake receive (hmmmm....take might be a better word...but with a smile) some candy.  For the first time he said "thank you" just as clear as day.  Don't get me wrong.  He totally knew what thank you meant and when he should say it, but for some reason he always choose to say that in Chinese which was "gum" (just spelling it phonetically).  He beamed ear to ear as I strolled him about.  It was precious.  His favorite goodie by far was gummy bears.  I've included a couple of pictures.  Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 Jake thought smashing up his three Ritz crackers (which then looked like 30 or so) and riding his car through them was a great way to finish off his lunch today.

 

 Getting ready to go out the door trick or treating.

 

 My sweet older three just love their little brother and are happy to experience everything again with him.  I am really looking forward to watching them with him over the holidays.

 



 Jake has had a couple of haircuts but got this one day yesterday.  He is so agreeable when it comes to things like that.

 

Jenna is helping Mommy with Jake. 

Beach fun!!

We just returned from a 3 day trip to the beach.  We had a great time....though it was a lot of work since we went without Jeff.  We had such awesome weather and just enjoyed being together so much.  Enjoy the pictures!!

 

He's 2 really......and more

Just thought I'd share another funny thing that tells me that Jake is so 2.  For over a month or so now when he has been playing with his cars, sometimes he'll be sitting on the floor and he'll pick his foot up and try to get in.  No kidding!!  It's really funny.  And if he happens to find one of the matchbox cars that have doors that open, well then he really wants to get in.  He looks at me and grunts like "help me".  It is so funny.  I think now he just knows that it makes me laugh so he does it all the more.

Okay, I wrote that about a week ago.

Tonight Andrew, Jake and I brought home a sub from subway.  Jake ate black olives, yellow banana peppers, red onions, green lettuce (notice the color adjectives......I know, I'm weird), ham, and a little cheese.  He was in heaven.  He followed that up with some applesauce and grapes.  I was waiting for him to pop.

Some other things that I'm noticing changing is that Jake is able to control himself a bit more.  He'll get ready to hit and have his hand raised and start to hit but end up rubbing his hand on your arm and saying "saw -ree" instead of hitting.  It is so precious.  And I've figured out a little better how to help him with the very, very loud squealing / yelling / vocalizations that he makes.....which is to cover my ears and say, "oh, that hurt my ears" which is true.  And since he's so compassionate, he right away gets the connection.  I don't overdramatize it because I know that he's really just trying to express himself most times.  We follow that up with lots of talking so he's still communicating and lots of reassurances that we love him.  I've figured that all the rest of us need a little lesson in self control from Jake.  There's still a ways to go and you factor in that he's two and so if you see him doing all these things, just remember that we're all a work in progress.  And oh is he.  I look at his little head sometimes which is a constant reminder of his background and I just love him so much.  I wander at all that God has planned for Him.  Why did He see fit to bring this little boy to us?  What does He want from us when it comes to Jake?  How can we honor Him best in rearing Jake? 

Thank you for praying for us!  We are grateful.

Enjoy a picture taken by a precious friend's sweet son!  I love this smile....it's Jake up and down. 

Thankful

In the last week or so I have noticed a change...yes, I think things are changing with Jake but things are also changing with me.  I wish I could describe how my heart is changing but early on I just felt so much stress.  I was so overwhelmed and nervous and anxious about so many things.  Fear at times would overcome me.  I'd know that it wasn't from the Lord but struggled to think right.  But now it seems that I am finally getting into a groove and I just feel like I have had a newborn and things are finally settling down.  It's almost like the way you feel when they finally sleep through the night.  Jake has been doing that for a while (which is a huge, huge praise in and of itself), but I just have a better perspective on life.  Some of the behaviors that we saw early on are diminishing and he just blends right in and each of us is developing such a sweet and unique relationship with him.  It is so neat to watch.  Tonight we prayed before going to bed and honestly he just wants to pray and often takes over.  He somehow gets it though we are far away from describing what Christ did on the cross.  Honestly he just knows that Jesus is God, that he loves him (Jake), and that He made the moon.  But boy does he like to pray at night.  Tonight he just went on and on.  A couple of times I had to stop him and find out what he was saying.  One thing he said was "school", well that's our co-op.  He just loves going there and when he unclenched (don't know if that's a word) his eyes when I asked him what he said, he just as plainly as possible said "school".  It was almost like, "what you mean you couldn't understand that".  And then he said a bit later "moon" but it came out kind of weird so I asked him again what he said and it was just precious.  He then again very plainly said "moon" and looked even more annoyed like "what's wrong with you Mama".  Anyway, I decided to leave well enough along and he just prayed and prayed.  He is very thankful.  And so am I.

"Moooooon"

Well, a couple of things...

Last I think I posted Jake had been hit by a stick close to his right eye on the inside corner.  That began to heal and then he fell off his scooter (yes, he rides it like he's 5 or 6 and not 2) and hit the outside corner of his right eye.  It left a little gash that I watched closely and made my own "butterfly stitch" with a bandaid and that has finally healed up pretty nicely as well.  We're grateful for vision in Jake's right eye.  Jeff and Jenna very cleverly coached Jake into wearing his Cars helmet now and so that was a small step towards safety.  It was very hard to explain to him when he first got home why he needed to wear a helmet, but now he understands so much more.  It was also hilarious to watch Jeff and Jenna ride around with that helmet and fight over it and make so much over the cars on it (Jake is a transportation boy....likes cars, airplanes, trains, anything that moves...he's fascinated with them).  It was especially funny to see that helmet sit atop Jeff's head (Jeff has a pretty large head:)). 

Okay, also I have a very dear friend at our homeschool co-op that keeps helping me to take notice of other things that are the same in all languages (like car, motorcycle, and train sounds).  I realized that sounds that creation (both God's and ours) utters are in the same language.  Think about it......  So if Jake imitates any of those sounds, it's the same as our utterance of them.  If he hears a rock plop into some water and imitates the sound, it's "plop" or "ker-plop" just like the sound I make.  It's language that's different.  Words do hold power.  I wish that I could use mine to encourage more and to guard my mouth better.  I want to build up and not tear down.  It also reminds me about what the Bible says about the power of the name of Jesus and that someday all knees will bow and tongues will confess that Jesus is Lord. 

Jake's English is moving along so fast.  It is really unbelievable.  He understands almost all of what we are saying and can imitate almost all our words (though he doesn't always know what they mean).  His understanding though of hundreds of English words just amazes me.  I can see more and more each day what a marvelous addition he is to our family.  We are so blessed.  People often comment that he is blessed, but we are so blessed to have been entrusted with his life. 

The final tidbit that I wanted to comment on is that just about a week ago Jake took notice of the moon.  He just couldn't get over it and the next 2 hours conversation went something like this:

Jake:  "Mooooon"
Mommy:  "Yes, Jake, that's the moon.  Isn't it marvelous.  God made the moon."
Jake:  "Mooooon"
Mommy:  "Yes, Jake, that's the moon.  Isn't it beautiful.  God made the moon and God made you."
Jake:  "Mommy, mooooooooooon."
Mommy:  "Yes, Jake, that's the moon.  Isn't it awesome (here's where I started to vary by adjectives and every response thereafter just had another adjective and then I'd cycle back through....bear in mind we were shopping for shoes)."
Jake:  same thing
Mommy:  "Parker, can you talk to Jake about the moon."
Parker:  real enthusiastic in the beginning "Yes, Jake, that's the moon.  Isn't it incredible."
Jake: same thing.
Parker: same sort of conversation as I had

Well this went on all night and absolutely annoyed Parker to death as Jenna and I tried to find shoes.  Parker was spent.  And every day and night since then has been more of the same.  But this afternoon, something changed :).  Jake added "moooooon, bee Mommy".  That meant "mooon, share Mommy" which meant "mooooon, please get it for me Mommy".  I just couldn't believe it.  He thinks I can get him the moon.  It was just precious.  He really thinks I can get him the moon!  I haven't fully processed that....it's probably just a two-year old thing, but I am just thrilled that he looks to me for so much.  I might even be able to get him the moon.  Don't worry.  I haven't promised him that.  As a matter of fact, I've told him that I can't get it for him but that I would read to him a precious book about another child that wanted the moon.  I just thought it was so precious and wanted to share.

Please keep praying for this little fellow and my other children and for Jeff and I.  We feel like we are on a journey and want to be found faithful to teach this little one as well as our others all about the sweet, sweet love of Jesus.  Pray that our testimony would be strong.

Here are just a few pictures:

Parker has taken an interest in photography and has been capturing some really cool things.  Jenna took this shot, but Parker had the idea.

 Jake watching baseball, football, or some other "ball" on tv with Dad.

 Andrew has taken up soccer and is loving it!

 Here's one of tons of precious pictures Parker took of Jenna.

 All of the children at Carroll Joyner Park.  Jake's hair has been trimmed down a bit since the photo:)

Parker posing for the camera!

Boo-Boo

Well, just a quick post.  We went to watch a friend's sons play soccer tonight and as we were leaving this happened. 

I think it actually looks worse than it is.  I think it's just a little deeper scratch but will take a much closer look tomorrow since it's so close to his eye.  Some boys (not including Jake) were playing with these sticks / long weeds with hard ends and the littlest boy got hurt.  The older ones never stopped to check on the little guy but Jake started to move closer (he's got a compassionate heart).  He wasn't very close actually so I wasn't worried.  I really didn't think that much of it but the next thing I know he's screaming and running towards me.  I thought he had gotten upset at how rough they were playing but actually part of one of the sticks broke off and flung and hit him in his sweet little face.  It really broke my heart.  The amazing thing is that the cut/scratch is about a quarter inch away from his eye.  If it had moved slightly towards his eye we could have been dealing with a much more difficult problem tonight.  We are praising God that He protected Jake and that Jake wasn't hurt worse.

Now for a funny picture from earlier today...Jake and Jenna like to do this thing where they look out of the side of their eyes at each other.  The picture doesn't capture how funny he looks when he's doing this, but it is Oh So Cute!

:(

I know I blog about the silliest things perhaps....but I'm just sharing some of the sweet and memorable things going on in the Stanley household these days.

Tonight's event was a little sad to me.  It was a good day, but after a final trip to see just a few minutes of Andrew's soccer practice, the girls, Jake and I headed home and I swept Jake upstairs for a quick bath and then into his room.  While we were taking our nightly look at Jake's spider that he is amazed at, I lost my balance and began to fall over a big toy that occupies a good bit of the floorspace.  I was holding Jake and just had that out of control feeling that comes with falling.  Somehow I managed not to drop him and just stumped my toes pretty hard and will certainly have a nice bruise on my thigh, but the whole experience along with a bit of yelping, just sent Jake into a frenzy of screaming and reaching for his crib.  I realized right away that I had to get it together and was just thinking why he'd want in his crib so bad.  I figured out pretty quickly that his crib at least for the first year of his life was probably his safe place.  It was where he was most of the time and was a comfort to him.  So then to see him reaching for his crib and insistent that I let him go and in, just made me so sad.  His crying didn't stop for a while and though eventually he did calm and want to see the spider again, he didn't want anything to do with our normal snuggling routine and ended up getting in his crib without drinking his bottle.  I haven't heard a peep from him and respect that that's what he needed at the time.  I also know tomorrow brings another day and the wonderful thing about being his mom is that I get to do it all over again and show him my love and that we are here for him.  Thank you for letting me share and for your prayers. 

Duh Du (with a long u)

Today after I put Jake down for his nap and was walking out of his room, I hear this sweet little voice say "duh du".  I always have to stop and do a double take and really think when Jake talks to me.  But I knew this one pretty quickly.  It was "love you".  He said it first!!!  I was shocked.  He beat me to my line which is "have a good nap (or night if that's the case)" and then "love you".  And two nights ago, he finished his prayer with "Ahhhhmin" which was "Amen" of course.  It was very close.  Tonight as he was drinking his bottle he pointed his finger to his eye and then to me.  This is "I love you".  Jeff and I have always with our children had a code for "I love you" which is pointing to your eye, then to your heart, and then to the other person.  Jake got the first and third parts of this right.  He is such a sweet, smart little fellow. 

But have I mentioned that he is really, really busy.  Well he is!!!  As wonderful as the addition of Jake has been to us, it has also been very intense.  It's good though if you know what I mean.  I just am constantly having to refocus, revamp so much.  Just when I think I've got it all figured out....nope!!!  More change!  Anyway, it's good.  Please keep praying for our homeschool efforts.  We still feel very much that homeschooling is right for our family but it is a very, very big endeavor.....one we're delighted to have the privilege to undertake, but one that feels heavy at times. 

What's for dinner?

I started this post a few days ago and just saved it because I thought it was silly, but when I saw Jake eat tonight, I thought I might go ahead and post.  Tonight he had plain cooked chicken, lettuce, salsa, and guacomole.  Which do you think he was wild about and seemed to recognize...right, the guacomole.  He was more than ecstatic.  He just grinned from ear to ear and ate two heaping serving size tablespoons full.  That's a lot for a little guy.  We actually had some kind of chicken type burrito concoction that Jeff made up (he's really the better cook in our family), but when we saw Jake reaching for the shredded lettuce we decided to do his separately.  Then he wanted salsa and then we added the plain chicken and then he wanted guacomole.  Okay, so here's the post I started the other day.

"When we first got Jake, he wouldn't eat anything but noodles and some rice.  We'd take him down to the breakfast buffet in Guangzhou (that was one amazing buffet) and he'd just drink orange juice.  He wouldn't take the formula that apparently he took 3-4 times a day.  But after a few weeks, we could tell that despite the orphanage and foster family saying he was a "picky eater", he actually isn't at all according at least to my standards.  We used to have to warm everything up because nothing in China was cold....warm oj, NO ice cream, warm milk, etc.  But now he takes things cold....that's not like some big accomplishment (we're all a little spoiled, you know) except that he is pretty easily adapting to our foods, customs, etc.  But occassionally we'll get a little picture of what his food habits were like in China.  For example, tonight was a free for all.  I was just exhausted and couldn't even plan anything.  But I fixed Jake noodles, sliced apples, and then he saw Dad coming with a hot dog and banana peppers on it and so, of course, he just had to have some banana peppers, and then here came Andrew with maraschino cherries (I have no idea why those were out...but remember I said that I was tired) and of course he wanted some of those.  And then he saw some macaroni and cheese and wanted some of that (he hated cheese when we first got home).  And then we finished all that off with a cup of milk.  Hmmmm!!!!!  It was cold cow's milk.  Totally different from the crazy formula/pediasure mixture that I do.  Now I know not all these things are good for you, so just know that.  But I will say that it's just amazing to see how comfortable he is and how many different types of things / temperatures / textures he will eat.  And to watch him walking around at our homeschool co-op with string cheese (again not the best for you) which he hated just a week or two ago I am just happy.  Don't worry, we're not going to totally Americanize him with our fast food diet, prepackaged meals, etc.  We are slowly, very slowly making not only gluten free changes (that had to happen right away), but also trying to eat somewhat healthier.  But in the meantime, it's just good to see our little one adjusting and relating with the other children over food."

Silent Tears

Tonight as I snuggled little Jake and rocked him before I put him in his crib, tears just began to come.  I realized that a couple of times lately I'm holding on to him kind-of tight because I feel like, and I know this is strange so just humor me, I feel like I missed him and now he's home. I know it's weird, but come on.....aren't we all kind of weird.  Really, it's almost like I was without him (2 years, 2 months to be exact) when he was supposed to be ours.  I just "missed" him and now he's home.  Can't really explain it......

But the second thing that made tears come was what happened just before I began to rock him.  You see, in China, like the day we got Jake, we had to eat, right?  Well, we normally pray at that point so we of course thought we'd better teach this sweet little one how to pray.  Don't worry.  It was simple.  You just close your eyes, bow your head and fold your hands.  :)  I must admit that this was weird for all of us.  Not the praying part.  But the bowing the head and folding our hands (and for some younger....okay all CHILDREN....the closing their eyes was THE HARDEST PART!).  Anyway, I must tell you that I am a rebel at heart.  I just refused for the longest time to make my children consistently close their eyes (it was a "suggestion" mind you) because I knew that wasn't a condition for praying as our Lord kept his eyes open towards the heaven on at least one occassion that I remember.  But anyway, I know, I know.  It's hard to concentrate and we aren't the Lord.  Well, now we get to do all these things over so we taught this little guy to close his eyes, bow his head and we threw in folding his hands so that he'd really get what we were doing.  Well, he gets it.  At night when I am rocking him, at some point I'll say "I'm going to pray Jake".  I expect to keep snuggling and just pray, but he has been for weeks now, sitting back up, folding his hands, squeezing his eyes shut as tight as he can til his face looks like he's in horrendous pain...it's actually really cute, and in the last week or so, he's been muttering, in the midst of all my praying, his own requests.  Usually it's just a list of names of his family members, but tonight it was (read the code) "Denna, Ahber, Spider (there's a spider right outside his window that comes out each night and weaves a web and waits for food...he loves it), Denna, Ahmie, Daddy, {dog barks} Doggie, Ahhndrew, Denna, Ahber".  So finally I say "Amen" as he would go on and on or get down while I still have my eyes closed.  Anyway, his prayers and my "missing" him just made my face soaked.  I don't have time to cry.  I just find my face wet and then think about what I'm thinking about and realize how touched I am. 

We are so blessed.  We have certainly already had our fair share of adjustments and I don't want anyone to think it's been a cake ride (or is it cake walk?), but we are so blessed.  Jake is our child and our other children are his siblings and he is theirs.  Please continue to pray for us all.  Pray especially for my other little guys and for our homeschool efforts.  I have really had to revamp those.  It's working, but just slow.  And please keep checking back.  It's comforting to know we're not alone.

A Few Pictures

A Late Post....No Need for Early Intervention

Most of this was written the day after our early intervention assessment on Monday, August 13th:

"Each day that passes we realize more and more how much God love us!!  I am in awe at how He has put together our family.  Our new little one brings us such joy!

Yesterday we had our early intervention assessment.  The Chinese interpreter showed up first (along with her driver who was an older caucasian man with a degree in chemistry...I know, interesting) and Jake looked a little confused.  He got upset (he was actually hungry also) and she tried to take him out of my arms to console him....BAD IDEA!!  That was the first time that happened (someone trying to pull him screaming from my arms) and he wanted nothing to do with it.  Those of you that know anything about adoption know that this is a very good sign that he is attaching well.  This is a huge praise!!  I am so grateful.

It wasn't long before the evaluator and coordinator arrived and by this point I finally have Jake eating some Chex.  I tell them that I just can't imagine how they are going to test him because it just seemed that it would be difficult.  I immediately remembered that this wasn't about me and how well I was doing or my parenting skills or lack thereof but it was about Jake, and wherever he was and whatever he could do, well that would just be what it was.  Weight seemed to lift.  Before I knew it we had him playing down on the floor in the family room and she began her testing.  I enjoyed watching how much he could do, and let me tell you, it was just amazing. 

The evaluator assessed his motor skills, cognitive abilities, speech, self-help, and something else but I can't remember.  He is totally normal in his cognitive and motor skills, but, of course, tests delayed in speech and self help skills.  Both of these delays totally make sense since he is learning the language and we are not pushing him at all with moving to cups (though he can do that) verses bottles and we're not trying potty training (though he can do that sometimes as well). 

Jake is eligible for the early intervention program based solely on his diagnosis of CP and speech delays but quite honestly, both the evaluator and I agreed that there was no need to pursue anything further.  There were things that he can do, like somersaults, that couldn't be captured on the form (this was voluntary as he waited for the next activity / game).  There are a few remaining medical things to evaluate, but nothing urgent.  I continue to try and put him down to bed in such a way to help shape his head if it's not too late.  Certainly an MRI at some point would help us know more about whether or not there was some issue that caused early rigidity in his limbs.  A CT scan taken at 14 months old showed some issuewith the left ventricle but we certainly don't see any neurological issues to be concerned about.

We are very grateful that God has allowed Jake to heal and be so healthy.  God has blessed us beyond our wildest dreams.  We are seeing our other children's hearts slowly transformed.  And we too, Jeff and I, are being changed, slowly day by day."

Compassion

I have shared this with a couple of sweet friends today, but also wanted to write about this here because it really touched my heart.  Yesterday, I was a bit distracted and Jake was just all out of sorts.  I have no idea if he picked up on how I was feeling or if he also was just struggling, but he acted out pretty much throughout the day.  I knew by mid-day that I needed to snap out of my funk but just couldn't bring myself to.  Anyway, we made it through and last night as I was putting him in the tub I stumped my toe on this splashguard thingy that Jeff had installed to keep the water in the tub but it had fallen on the floor.  It made me yelp which got Jake's attention and then I looked at my toe which was cut just a little and bleeding.  He couldn't take his eyes off my "boo boo" and said right away "Oh Mama!", like he was just so concerned for me.  It was so precious and caring and compassionate.  I wanted to cry.  But then what just melted my heart was when I looked down at his precious feet and saw that all the toes on the same foot as my boo boo were curled under like he was just feeling my pain.  They stayed that way for a long time.  I needed to see that so sweet side of him and for someone to love me enough to say "Ohhhhhh".  This morning when he woke up and I got him out of his crib and sat him on the floor, he came over to me sitting in the rocking chair and just stared at my foot.  He had remembered what had happened the night before.  How precious!  I am grateful that God allowed me to see a compassionate, caring side of my little guy.  Please continue to pray for us as we continue to adjust. 

Quick Medical Update

Yesterday was a pretty important day from a medical perspective.  I got to speak to our pediatrician about a number of tests that have been done.  Blood levels are within normal (I was concerned about a condition called thalassemia minor because his referral information had some slightly abnormal values for that condition and that is more prevalent in the population in the province where Jake is from).  All of the disease testing came back normal.  His immunization titers for immunizations he had in China all came back effective.  I think I mentioned that his skull xray came back normal.  So all of this was extremely good news.  We praise God for such awesome results!  Such good results with such a heavy referral diagnosis (cerebral palsy) is just amazing to me. 

Yesterday we also had an initial consult with the early intervention folks for our county.  This is a free service that will help us get a very thorough evaluation of Jake's motor skills, speech, medical concerns, etc.  Jake will automatically qualify because of his referral diagnosis.  I have a feeling that there's not much that will need to be done but I just want to make sure that we are not missing anything.  Our pediatrician isn't an international adoption specialist, though she has seen some internationally adopted children, so we just want to make sure that we are thorough in providing the best of care for Jake. 

There are a few outstanding medical things that need to be looked into including an MRI, possible helmeting if Jake isn't too old for that, a couple more blood tests.  But I am so relieved at such good news thusfar.  Please join me in praising God for being the Great Physician and Healer!!

Visit wtih the foster family - Part 1

I am sorry for the delay in posting about our visit to the foster family.  I have wanted to do this since we got home but got overwhelmed every time I thought about it.  For some reason it's a really emotional thing for me.  I suppose it might be for anyone in our shoes, but it still just all seems so fresh.  My heart aches for this family, for us, for Jake, and for the things that I will never know and experiences that our little guy had that we weren't apart of....both good and bad ones.  Somehow thinking of that day reminds me of the fallen state of mankind and the results of sin in the world.  It's not God's best for children to be orphaned.  I know that's really obvious, but just thinking back on that day and all that it entailed with visiting the orphanage, the foster family, and Jake's finding spot, I am reminded of that. 

Jeff and I struggled from the time we got Jake on Monday until we visited the foster family on Thursday as to whether or not we should visit them.  Jeff really wanted to pass on it and I really felt (sort of, kind of, at least intellectually) that we should visit them.  I thought it would be good for Jake to have pictures down the road, for us to see where he had been, for him even now to see all of us together and know it was okay, etc.  But Jeff worried about how he would respond.  Would it set him back?  I worried about that too, but still thought we should go.  I think now we are both extremely glad we went.  We and they were blessed by that time.  And anything I could do to bless them (short of giving my sweet little one back) I wanted to do.  It was so good for my other children to see where Jake had been. 

I don't know that I can do all of this in one post as I'm fading and promising myself more sleep tonight.  I could not figure out for the life of me why my knee felt it was going to burst when I bent it beyond 90 degrees until after about 4 days or so, it hit me that I had been carrying a 30 lb little one for over a month now.  My body just isn't the same as it was when I had Parker at 28 years old.  But it's all good. So anyway, here's the beginning from where I had started to post back in China.  I'll fill in more details in the next day or two.

"After the orphanage, we just rode down a street or two, still in the "oldest" part of town, and turned on to a side street. My heart was racing. Jeff is so different from me, which is a good thing, but I could feel his anxiety throughout the day. But I just had no idea what to expect. As soon as we turned onto this little side street, we stopped and got out. There was a swarm of people just taking in this van full of "white" people but within seconds I saw Jake's foster father. I immediately started to cry but the sweet prayer of a dear friend from a Saturday before we left helped me, I believe, to remember and hold back the tears. I felt renewed strength and just watched as our little guy took his hand and we proceeded to make our way back to their home. It was a bit like a procession. We didn't walk far before Jake saw his friend, also about 2 and with CP, and the foster dad lead him and us over to say hey to DumDum (sorry, don't have any idea how to spell it) who was sitting on the curb of his foster family's corner little supermarket stand / store. We got pictures of them together and Jake shared a car with him that we had bought for Jake that morning. Jake "beed" with him, which means he shared. I have no idea how to do the past tense of share in Chinese so I just did it the English way. It was precious. We then went on to the family's house. Up some staires to a very small but loving home where all the family had gathered to see Jake. I let the foster mom do what she's always done with Jake and she fed him congee and at some point gave him formula. Why in the world I was worried about what water she used to mix it, I have no idea. This is what he had been doing for over a year. We all gathered and began to dialogue. They shared so many stories of Jake. It was priceless. Just about brings me to tears as I type. I couldn't begin to share them all with you. But just a few. They say he is the "happy one of the home" and he is. He just seems so glad to be alive and wants to play games with you and by himself. They said that he greets the mom at the door by bringing her her shoes when she gets home. I can so see him doing that. They showed me what he likes to play with (a scooter) and told us about when they got Jake. They said that he was "very sick". That he couldn't sit up. That was at 1 year old. I asked them what they did for him and they said that they sat him and one sat behind him and they held him there." 

Things are looking up!

Things are looking up since my last post.  A sweet friend's husband helped fix our computer, dinners continue to be such a blessing (thank you so much Friends), the moths are almost gone and our little bit of salvaged pantry food is back in place.  Such small things I know, but amidst the adjustments we are making, it felt like more than it was.  Whew!!!

The biggest thing that I want to share is that Jake continues to do so well.  He has his ups and downs like any two year old, but mostly he seems to be adjusting so well.  I get so many hugs and kisses throughout the days that I am just loving it!!  We had a couple of nights where he was having trouble falling asleep and would just cry for me to come hold him.  He'd do that off and on 4 or 5 times over the course of a couple of hours, but tonight he just went to his crib right away and played a little and then fell asleep.  I thought he might be getting into a pattern of "if I cry, she comes", which is both good and bad.  But looks like maybe he just needed to expend a little more energy and have a little shorter nap.  So, so sorry for the details, but life with a two year old brings you back to these things.  Oh, by the way, Jake does amazing for a two year old with a  razor scooter.  I think that explains his little calf muscles being pretty developed as his foster family said that that was his favorite toy.  I think he was trying to keep up with the other foster child that the family was keeping.


I continue to think through changes we need to make as we plan for our homeschool work and activities for the fall.  I am making decisions that will mean that I have fewer commitments and can focus on my children (I feel such peace as I make each difficult decision) and my sweet husband who has so often gotten the short end of the stick.  Though I will really miss it, I'm not helping with our children's worship at church this year.  This will relieve some stress as Sunday mornings roll around and will free up one night  a month when we were practicing.  I know this seems small, but I am praising God for His Hand in helping me to see what it is that I need to be doing right now.  I've not always been great about following His lead when it comes to commitments, activities, etc.

Let me close by saying that I wish each of you could for a moment step into my shoes and look into the face of my little guy and see what I see and feel what I feel for him...as his mother.  It is such love.  He is so fearfully and wonderfully made!!  The more I love him the more I hurt for his start in life.  It breaks my heart that we live in such a fallen world where children are orphaned.  The more I love him, the more excited I get for him about what he has now and what God can do in His life.  The more I love him, honestly the more I realize that he is fully a "Stanley" and how God has put together our family and how amazing that is.  And I look forward to our future together.  I can't wait to watch him grow.  I can't wait to see who he becomes.  I can't wait to see a million more smiles and wipe away tears.  And help him learn to fight the good fight.  But for now, I am just so happy with hearing him say a new word each day, listening to him babble for minutes on end about who knows what, holding and rocking him and feeling him nestle into me as he is resting in my arms, listening to him call the other children's names, watching him squeal with delight as the wind blows a couple of leaves by us....oh the list just goes on and on. 

Thank you for following along.  Blessings to you.

Snake!!!

Well, it hasn't been the best of days.  Jake is fine...but mama hasn't been.  It seems that everything just seems to fall apart at once.  You all know what I mean.....the dryer died (replaced that on Saturday), computer died last night (still don't know what to do but it's where I get my email and have most of my docs stored, plus it wasn't too long ago that we bought it), fan in bathroom died, something else quit but I can't remember, but to top it all off, the pantry moth infestation (I finally accepted that that's what we have after a year or so of dealing with this) just became unbearable.  I had had enough last night and determined that today I would get to the bottom of it.  I tried, but chasing a 2 year old and tending to the others various needs (which they still very much have), proved almost to be too much.  I have thrown more food away than I could imagine.  It made me feel sick because much of it was gluten free which is so expensive!!!  But if we can get rid of these moths, I'll be thrilled.  Jeff has been worried about this problem all along, but I just kept thinking "no big deal".  But Friends, let me tell you, it IS a big deal.  It was GROSS!!!  I have no idea what I was thinking.  There's no telling what we've been eating.  Wonder where in the world my mind has been....I'll tell you where.  I can get so single minded that all I could think of at times was getting our little guy home.  I just kept thinking, "oh, no big deal, just a few moths".  Well Friends they have larvae and they leave little nests.  I just know God gave me my sweet husband for a reason.  He doesn't want us eating moths!!!

Okay, I'm digressing.  But anyway, I thought the final straw came tonight when I finally went into the garage to clean up the bag that had leaked sugar into the garage (I have dealt with an ant infestation before and determined that I would NOT have that problem again).  Well let me tell you that I thought things couldn't get much worse until I saw the biggest snake in my life.  I went to get Jeff, half gasping, and he prepared himself though he wasn't feeling well.  It didn't matter; he had to take care of this problem and NOW (that's according to me)!  So anyway, he went broom in hand to the garage and looked just under the steps where I had seen the snake.  He said "I think it's a belt, but you need to come look to be sure".  I wasn't so sure about that but did as he asked and sure enough, it was just Andrew's belt.  Oh, that was what Andrew was trying to tell me as he came running down the stairs.  Jeff, not feeling well and all, proceeded to get that belt snake out from under the steps and beat the tar out of it, which was actually quite funny until............he spread my pile of sugar all over the garage again.  :(((((

But things have been worse, and are in many places in the world, and people have loved ones that are sick.  So what in the world do I have to complain about!!!  Please, if you're reading this, pray for wisdom in parenting, clarity of mind, and for joy amidst craziness at times. 

He can run!!!

I am so sorry that it has been so long since I have posted.  I am going to try and go back to posting daily because I think it's so important to keep praying friends and family updated and to journal this for Jake, but also, if God could use this to encourage you in ANY way, then I would just be thrilled and would give Him the praise. 

I know I've talked about this before but each time I sit down to type, I am in awe at what God has done and overwhelmed.  Sometimes I have mentioned about how I can feel God using this change in our lives to shape and mold us.  You know, that's not always very pretty, but I want to be changed.  I hope that doesn't sound pious, but I really do want to be changed.  I used to pray faithfully that God would make me more like His Son.  The longer I walk with Him, the more I realize the depth of my sin.  It makes me think of a hymn we have been consistently singing since we got Jake.  For some reason it came to mind one night while we were there in the hotel room and I was trying to put him to sleep.  The last verse in "Come Thou Fount" says,

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothèd then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

This is such good news!!!  But even better is the verse that comes a couple before that one:

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

Jake just loves to hear this hymn and sometimes tries to do his own version of it.

Anyway......on to "He can run!!"

Today as I followed behind Jake trying to remind him to walk in the house, I was reminded of something that I have thought about several times since being home and wanted to share about it.  Bear with me just a minute and I'll get to the point.  I realized last night that we have got to get Jake, for his own safety, to stop running in the house.  So we tried all versions of acting, charades, etc., to show him that we run outside (picture 3 or 4 of us trying to show him how to run without him starting to run and thinking that was great!) and walk inside (picture the same 3 or 4 of us trying to show him how to walk inside and him thinking this was a great big marching parade).  We were a bit overzealous, but eventually he did get that something happened outside (he knows the "miles" are outside which are the cats) and something happens inside. 

Well today he forgot all that so I was trying to catch up with him going down the hallway, without running myself, and remind him to walk.  I think that he thinks he's in a mansion.  Our house really is compared to where he came from.  And now that he knows his way around, he just loves to run the hallway back to Parker's room.  Well, he just likes to run with Parker no matter how you slice it!!  It's neat to watch what God is doing in each of my children's lives and how He's teaching them about toddlers.  And it's also neat to watch how each of their relationships with Jake is so different.  Parker is a passionate person (wonder where she got that from:)) and she has that kind of relationship with Jake.  What that translates to is a very physical, high energy situation....lots of holding, forced kissing, picking him up high (makes me sweat), jostling him around, AND RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAY!!  So anyway, back to the title (again).  So today as I am running after him, I am reminded of a prayer request that we had in our prayer cup on our kitchen table.  The prayer request was that Jake would be able to run!!!  Many of you will recall that Jake was adopted through the special needs program in China.  Jake's official diagnosis was "cerebral palsy".  Initially when we got his referral back in October of 2011 we could tell some about how he was doing, but at 16 months old it reported that he was "standing with assistance".  We thought that was a good sign but we knew that sometimes the information isn't as accurate as you would like.  So anyway, to make a long story short, we decided to accept his referral (our first and only referral....Praise God!! because we didn't want to feel like we were choosing, though we understand completely that families have to decide what they can handle, which is wise to say the least).  I'll fill in a little about how God showed us Jake was our son when I blog tomorrow or shortly thereafter.

But anyway, from the time we accepted the referral til May we didn't have an update which is pretty common.  Still that diagnosis lingered and so during those months we decided to just go all out in our prayers for Jake and not only pray that he could walk, but that he could run.  So finally in May when we got updated pictures and some video, we could see that indeed this little one was walking, talking, interacting.  We felt so blessed.  One day as I cleaned the kitchen one of the prayer slips had somehow made it's way to the counter and I almost threw it away, but decided I should look at it.  This was literally within the week that we got the pictures and videos and I felt as if it was almost like the Lord was saying "remember this request....I have answered".  I remember being in awe, but the funny thing is that the video only showed him walking.  I was already giving God the praise for him running because I just knew that he could, but still I hadn't seen that.  Well, as I'm running behind him this morning, I remembered our prayer request and God's faithfulness to answer that.  How precious of Him!!  What a blessing. 

I don't know what Jake's future holds and as I watch the Olympics and see all these young men and women from all over the world representing all the nations, my heart feels like Jake's won a gold.  I don't know if he'll be a runner, but let me tell you something folks......HE IS FAST!!!!  By far the fastest of all my children at his age.  He's not only fast when running, but fast when reaching for things, undoing things, taking things apart, and all the other things that toddlers can do that can hurt, damage, etc.  It's amazing.  He can get into trouble super fast also!!  So, my prayer request if anyone is hanging in there and not given up on my blog, pray for his safety.  And pray also, if you could, that I will get my ducks in a row, as the Lord sees fit, to start back our homeschool work in later August.  I feel a need to plan, but it's difficult.  I knew it would be hard, but with the fastest 2 year old I've ever seen, it's harder than I had planned.  But I'm not complaining mind you.  God is sufficient and He will help.  Please continue to pray for my other children and anything else that comes to mind.  My greatest concern throughout our adoption is how will this affect them.  Pray that Jeff and I will continue to make changes that we need to in parenting and that our relationship will be sweeter than ever.  He is and has always been my hero!!