Went to see the neurologist

Right after Jake got home (literally 2 days after) we took him for his first physical.  We had heard horror stories about children being terribly misdiagnosed, so we wanted to get him evaluated by our pediatrician and she requested a number of tests.  Honestly it was a bit overwhelming and we didn't get all the testing done right away.  We got the most important things done, but finally a couple weeks ago we went back for a second physical.  The doctor and I agreed that though Jake's skull xray did not show fusion of a plate (which was a very good thing) that it would be prudent to have him see a neurologist.  We wanted to have him review the CAT scan results that we got from China when we first got his referral (which showed some extra fluid in the back left ventricle), to get his opinion about correcting his head shape, to have a full neurological work-up testing reflexes, etc., and to talk with him about some eye blinking that we saw around Christmas time.  So this past Monday we went to the neurologist.  We knew this would be out-of-pocket, but it was money well worth it. We got the absolute best report we could have hoped for.  No need for a CAT scan, no concerns with his reflexes, coordination, no evidence of cerebral palsy whatsoever!!!!  We don't even need to see this neurologist again!!  He also assured us that there is nothing that we can do about Jake's head shape and that it will improve slightly during his teen years when his head elongates but that it would always be flat on the back left side.  Folks, we can live with that!!!  He also told us that it is possible that his head was misshapen from birth and not helped by orphanage time where he preferred a certain side perhaps and didn't get moved as much as you or I would move a baby.  This was also really helpful in terms of understanding those early days.  We know questions will come one day and are trying to gather all that we can now.  Anyway, we're just thrilled. 

What an awesome, awesome God we serve.  Not everyone's story goes this way.  And honestly, there have been times when I have felt a little guilty.  Some folks adopting from China actually pursue the very sickest.  I admire them so much.  We weren't necessarily pursuing the sickest or the minor needs.  All we knew is that we felt called but that we were nervous about taking on too much medical need with having had so many medical challenges with Parker.  We got pushed when we found out that we would only be eligible for a "special focus" child (these are the precious ones typically with more need) because of Jeff's history of cancer, but with God's strength, we kept moving forward.  We honestly didn't know if this would be the end, but we decided, with a sweet friend's advice, to just keep stepping through each open door.  And boy did he continue to open them.  And here we are!!  Sweet, precious Jake.  No physical need whatsoever.   Knowing what we do now, there are so many disabilities we would be open to.  I saw the most precious little boy born with only one eye, receive his new "eye" on a video this week.  It made me cry.  A sweet friend from our taekwondo group adopted a little girl with missing digits.  We could do that.  But, for us for now, we will try, weak as we are, to take the energies saved in not having to address medical needs, and focus on Jake's soul....and my others.  Adoption, medical challenges, homeschooling all takes it's toll.  We need to rest in Him a bit.  Please join me in praising our Great Creater for all his mercies and grace. 

Enjoy some random pictures!!

Why International Adoption Still Matters

I have faded again on blogging, but this article is something I want to share.  I want to begin advocating for these precious lives.  My heart hurts for them, but honestly it doesn't hurt enough.  I want my heart to break for what breaks His.  Children need homes.  They need committed, loving parents.  I can't see what could be more important.  If you are wondering if you should adopt, PRAY!!  Pray for us as well.  These children were my boy, if you know what I mean.  He's so precious to me.  Any one of them could be him.  Look at them!

Why International Adoption Still Matters Posted: 22 Jan 2013 06:25 AM PST When Russia announced it was closing its international adoption program, social media exploded with opinions. Friends would forward me articles on international adoption and say, “Don’t read the comments section!” So of course I did. And I would read the words posted from people vehemently opposed to international adoption and wonder where our humanity has gone. “Let them stay in their own country.” “Why should we take their problem kids?” “No more importing foreign children!” I wonder if any of those caustic people have ever sat on a cold orphanage floor, holding an innocent child in their arms who was sick or malnourished. Every child on this earth has a basic human right to be raised in a family, regardless of country. Children are NOT supposed to be raised in institutions. It’s really not rocket science. Kids need families. While I could write volumes on my thoughts about international adoption on the whole, for the sake of this blog series I want to focus strictly on China since all of the children we work with are from that country. Adoption from China has fallen to its lowest point in years. In 2011, the last year official data is available, Americans adopted just 2,587 children…699 boys and 1,888 girls. (Source 1). That number is just 2% of all the children in government institutional care there, and just 0.4% of the total orphaned children in that country. ZERO POINT FOUR PERCENT. There are many charities working in China with orphaned children, and I am sure I could speak for all of them when I say that as we watch these amazing kids grow up in our programs, we wish more than anything that each one could have a family of his or her own. When you have met these beautiful kids in person, you know so deeply that it is a complete tragedy for even ONE of them to live their entire childhood inside an institution’s walls. Some of the most painful memories I have of my work in China are the ones where I have held older orphaned children in my arms, while they have sobbed and told me what it was really like to grow up without parents. It is so completely unfair, and that is why I get so angry when I read someone’s “anonymous” posting online that they should “stay in their own country.” What a terribly cruel thing to say about any child growing up essentially all alone. None of us should kid ourselves or try to make our own hearts feel better by saying that a nice orphanage nanny can take the place of a mom or dad. Would any of us want our own babies raised in an institution? Of course not. And if it’s not okay for our OWN children, why then is it okay for the kids currently living behind orphanage walls? We all know that the longer a child stays in an institution, the more they will suffer cognitive, physical, and emotional delays which can have lifelong implications. As we have discussed, the majority of children in Chinese orphanages today have some sort of special need.  Without international adoption, these children would have almost no chance of finding a home.  Do I hope this continues to change over the years? Absolutely! I would love to see more and more Chinese families welcome orphaned children with cerebral palsy, blindness, missing limbs, spina bifida and more into their homes. And I am encouraged, as I mentioned in my post on domestic adoption, that we ARE seeing more and more local families adopt children from our programs with health conditions like repaired cleft lip and repaired heart defects. But do I think that a Chinese family will walk into our Heartbridge Healing Home this year and say, “We would love to adopt baby Jenny, with anal atresia, one missing kidney, and a urological stoma.” I do not, and the reality is that without being adopted internationally, Jenny will most likely pass away in childhood, from not being able to get the monitored medical care by a family that she requires. Baby Jenny TODAY, at this very moment, there are 2,000 children on the shared adoption list waiting for a home that no one has stepped forward to claim as a son or daughter. Why? Because they have special needs, and there simply aren’t enough families open to bringing them home. We have to speak up for children who cannot speak for themselves. Keeping a child institutionalized can never be better than allowing a child to grow up in a loving family. What I have learned more than anything else in working with Chinese orphaned children for ten years is that EVERY child’s life is so important. Those of us who are Chinese adoptive parents cannot simply come home with our own incredible blessing and then forget all the children who still wait. China gave us the absolute honor to parent a child from that country, and I hope we will turn the love we feel for our own children into action:  to help even more incredible kids find homes. Let’s not be silent. Let’s continue to promote special needs adoption far and wide, and continue to advocate for all the children on the lists who are not chosen. For every single child who eventually finds a family – a priceless life will be changed forever. ~Amy Eldridge, Chief Executive Officer Source: 1) http://adoption.state.gov/about_us/statistics.php

Update on Jeff and Jake

Yesterday Jeff was able to get out of bed (he had an idea he might be able to less painfully when he was able to roll over during the night without my help) and he was then able to walk around.  He says he felt 500 times better than he had though he was still very reluctant to bend forward at all.  We decided to take him on in to the ortho thinking that some muscle relaxers might still help and just wanting be prudent and perhaps begin some PT with a friend who goes to our church to try and strengthen his core.  The ortho thinks that either he has a bulging disc or severe muscle spasms.  But all in all, he feels so much better and was actually even able to go to work today.  I'm still not letting him do anything at home (Jeff's a workhorse so I'll have to watch him on that).  He started PT today and I'm excited because the friend that Jeff is going to is the one that helped Parker before she was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and a kidney obstruction.  Although the PT was limited in terms of how it could help since we didn't yet know what was wrong with Parker, I really did appreciate and thought the approach, though not conventional, made a lot of sense.  I am excited that Jeff is going to be doing this PT so that he can maybe begin to help Jenna with some alignment issues and Parker with strengthening her right hip (she has a slight bit of fluid in there due to some injury or overuse).  So again, Dad leads the way!!  By the end of yesterday I was so grateful and could see amazing ways that God was working.  Jake had slept better at naptime and just seemed to feel so much better.

And then.........ohhh....last night was awful.  He had trouble going to sleep and then was up again at midnight.  I am thinking it may be a night terror because he seemed totally asleep but with eyes open.  He just wailed for a solid hour and a half.  I just felt awful because there isn't anything that I can do for him.  He kept poor Parker up (she's my sensitive one who just wants things in order before she goes to sleep) and I was exhausted and worried.  Then he woke back up at 3:30am and again, the same thing.  He sort of seemed like he's hurting somewhere.  I ended up bringing him in our room.  Anyway, just keep praying for him.  I am trying all kinds of combinations of milk.  He's a good eater otherwise but can be kind of moody and picky about what he wants.  We had heard this in China.  Normally this wouldn't all be terribly concerning, but with me it always seems there are so many things to worry about.  I know this doesn't come from the Lord and that I am to rest in Him, but my problem is that I always feel that I'm failing all the way around.  Everything seems more intense with him.  Hopefully I can blog about this someday.  I have no idea if any of these things interest anyone.  It seems so self-focused.  But I would like to bring God glory through a very ordinary adoption story. 

One other quick praise......Jake took a tumble down about 13-14 stairs this morning and I felt so sorry for him.  It looked and felt, for both him and I, out of control.  The stairs are carpeted but he ended on the hardwood floor.  I wish I could be in every place at once, but he routinely climbs the stairs and this is his first fall.  I think he got tangled up in his blankey.  But nonetheless, it's a praise that he wasn't hurt. 

I'm hoping to post some Christmas pictures soon.  Please keep praying as the Lord leads you.  I appreciate it!!

Rough few days......

Whew!!!  The last few days have been really tough.  I realized Sunday night that I just was not in God's word like I needed to be so I recommitted myself to study on Monday morning.  I spent a fair amount of time in prayer and study.  Little did I know that the day would bring so many challenges that I would need to remember God's promises, His Word, and that He foreknew the troubles that I would have that day and that it was all covered and under His care.  On top of everyone seeming to fall apart, Jeff came home from the YMCA early in the morning and said that he had done something to his hip playing basketball.  He had me massage it but within an hour one of the children came running to get me and said that Daddy was down in the floor in the bathroom.  I thought for sure that he was just using the hard floor to stretch, but instead he had collapsed from intense pain.  Jeff's a tough guy.  Remember he's a blackbelt in taekwondo and works out at the Y aerobically playing basketball with the guys three days a week (he wakes and leaves by 5am each day...I just couldn't do that).  So when I saw him in that much pain, I knew it wasn't good.  He had several bouts of the worst pain ever and has been nearly completely immobilized since yesterday.  We're going to the orthopedics tomorrow (if I can get him in the car) to see if we can get some muscle relaxer and stronger anti-inflammatory meds.  Everyone else is feeling pretty lousy with colds, sore throats, achy, etc.  So the dishes just piled up today and it was chaotic all the way around.  Jake picked today to lose it over EVERYTHING!  Please keep praying for that little guy.  He has lost some weight and just doesn't seem himself.  I think on top of not feeling well, we've probably overdone it and done too many things outside the home.  Please also pray for my bible study and time with the Lord.  I am often so exhausted that it feels physically impossible to get up at the time that I need to in order to be up before the children. 

Language

Well I think one of the problems is definitely the milk.  We had switched to lactose-free milk when we stopped the formula after 4-5 months home, but over Christmas we ran out of lactose-free milk.  Today Jake had nothing but juice and then some of, as he says, "my kind" of milk.  He knew something just wasn't right about the milk and so last night I just told him that we would get some that wouldn't hurt his tummy.  So today when getting ready to drink it he said "my kind?".  It was precious. 

He's also sitting still a lot longer to listen to me read to him at nighttime.  After we read a few books, I sing to him.  Of course, I sing Jesus Loves Me, and so a couple of nights ago, I started each line but left off the last word...which he then filled in.  Cracked me up how much he knew.  The only mistake he makes is that he wants to say "they are strong (instead of weak), but He is strong".  Hmmmm....very telling of us all isn't it?  We just think that we're stronger than we really are.  But yet we are so weak.  We desperately need Him.  The last number of months has shown me more and more how much I need the grace that comes from and through Christ.  Without Him, there is no hope.  But with Him, all things are possible.  I'll try to record Jake singing this and post soon.

The other thing that Jake is saying right now is "mean".  Everything is "mean".  He's just a reflection of us it seems at times and I certainly have heard a number of us say things like "don't do that; it's mean".  But he is saying it about everything and then laughing and laughing.  He thinks it's hysterical.  Kind of like when he first got home he was fixed on "Bop it" which was "Stop it".  I must have said that a lot.

All in all his language skills amaze me!  He is starting to speak in short, but full sentences.  Please pray that I will use my words to encourage him and the others and that I will be always mindful of the power of words. 

My little man's not feeling well

I am so sorry for not posting as I said I would a few weeks ago.  Last night I sat down and typed and typed, but still no post.  I don't know what the Lord wants me to say.  It's the strangest feeling.  I have so much to say about adoption, but I just don't feel fully released to share my thoughts just yet.  I will say that it definitely ranks right up there as the hardest thing that we've ever done (right alongside watching my oldest struggle medically for nearly 2 years) but it is also one of the best decisions that we've ever made.  It is changing us!!  By the way, have I ever mentioned that I am married to one of the best men ever?  I know many of you would say the same, but I just can't say enough good things about my husband right now.  He is my rock!  And it is so neat to see God doing so many things in and through him.  I am so grateful that God blessed me with him.  I have so much to say about my man and especially about his relationship with Jake and Andrew, but that is the subject of another post I'm afraid. 

For now, if you're reading this, please pray for my little Jake.  In many ways I feel like a first time mom.  Things are the same as with my others, but in many ways they are so different.  A couple of weeks ago Jake started blinking especially hard.  He's continued to do that.  With his slightly abnormal CT and diagnosis of CP (and with my background in clinical research on epilepsy), it has been a little concerning to me.  The last couple of days though I think it may be more allergy related or pink eye or something like that.  I'm just not sure.  He also just doesn't seem to feel real well....cries a lot throughout the day and then is awake off and on through the night.  Andrew did have a really bad stomach virus on Christmas Day so maybe Jake has a touch of that.  I don't know.  I'm just tired and thought if you feel led, you might pray for my sweet little guy.  I also think he might have an issue with milk. 

Merry Christmas to you all!

Distracted

Please, if you have been following along and are either praying for us, curious about adoption, considering adoption, please stay tuned.  I have so much to blog about.  I apologize for leaving you hanging but I have been terribly distracted.  Please forgive me and check back for an update either tomorrow or Wednesday.