Things are looking up since my last post. A sweet friend's husband helped fix our computer, dinners continue to be such a blessing (thank you so much Friends), the moths are almost gone and our little bit of salvaged pantry food is back in place. Such small things I know, but amidst the adjustments we are making, it felt like more than it was. Whew!!!
The biggest thing that I want to share is that Jake continues to do so well. He has his ups and downs like any two year old, but mostly he seems to be adjusting so well. I get so many hugs and kisses throughout the days that I am just loving it!! We had a couple of nights where he was having trouble falling asleep and would just cry for me to come hold him. He'd do that off and on 4 or 5 times over the course of a couple of hours, but tonight he just went to his crib right away and played a little and then fell asleep. I thought he might be getting into a pattern of "if I cry, she comes", which is both good and bad. But looks like maybe he just needed to expend a little more energy and have a little shorter nap. So, so sorry for the details, but life with a two year old brings you back to these things. Oh, by the way, Jake does amazing for a two year old with a razor scooter. I think that explains his little calf muscles being pretty developed as his foster family said that that was his favorite toy. I think he was trying to keep up with the other foster child that the family was keeping.
I continue to think through changes we need to make as we plan for our homeschool work and activities for the fall. I am making decisions that will mean that I have fewer commitments and can focus on my children (I feel such peace as I make each difficult decision) and my sweet husband who has so often gotten the short end of the stick. Though I will really miss it, I'm not helping with our children's worship at church this year. This will relieve some stress as Sunday mornings roll around and will free up one night a month when we were practicing. I know this seems small, but I am praising God for His Hand in helping me to see what it is that I need to be doing right now. I've not always been great about following His lead when it comes to commitments, activities, etc.
Let me close by saying that I wish each of you could for a moment step into my shoes and look into the face of my little guy and see what I see and feel what I feel for him...as his mother. It is such love. He is so fearfully and wonderfully made!! The more I love him the more I hurt for his start in life. It breaks my heart that we live in such a fallen world where children are orphaned. The more I love him, the more excited I get for him about what he has now and what God can do in His life. The more I love him, honestly the more I realize that he is fully a "Stanley" and how God has put together our family and how amazing that is. And I look forward to our future together. I can't wait to watch him grow. I can't wait to see who he becomes. I can't wait to see a million more smiles and wipe away tears. And help him learn to fight the good fight. But for now, I am just so happy with hearing him say a new word each day, listening to him babble for minutes on end about who knows what, holding and rocking him and feeling him nestle into me as he is resting in my arms, listening to him call the other children's names, watching him squeal with delight as the wind blows a couple of leaves by us....oh the list just goes on and on.
Thank you for following along. Blessings to you.
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