I tell you, I'm not a good blogger.  I don't just automatically think about blogging.  It's just not yet natural.  I wouldn't have thought of it tonight if I hadn't been thinking about my new little guy.  I was just looking at another mom's site and thinking about how close we are.  Tomorrow will make just a week til we fly out of RDU!  It's hard to believe that in less than 2 weeks we'll be united with our little guy.  I can't wait to see who he is, what he likes, what he dislikes.  I just want to learn all about him and hold him.  I am praying for his little heart.  I pray that just a sense of peace and calm will come over him and that he'll know, somehow, that this is all good and that there's a God who loves him so much.  There's times that I think "how did God do this?  How did he meld two hearts on opposite sides of the world together?"  It's amazing to me that He's always known, before I ever thought about Jake, that the day would come where we would be mother and son.  I am in awe of God's hand in our lives.  It's way beyond my comprehension how He weaves things together in our lives and makes this beautiful tapestry.  Sometimes, actually for me it seems like most of the time, we can't really see what He's doing.  But then the day comes where we can look back and see what He was up to.  I must believe that because He is allowing our adoption to move forward that He has brought all of these things about.

{All that was written last night....see...I'm not a good blogger!)

This morning all the children were at camps which was really helpful.  I bought food for the girls to take on our trip (we need to eat gluten-free in China) and presents for officials and the sweet foster family.  I have been blessed by such good friends at our taekwondo program, through our homeschool co-op and church.  Several sweet ladies stepped in to do things for our tkd camp that I did last year.  I couldn't have done it this year.  My hands were full and they knew that.  What a blessing!  There are many around me who are so selfless.  I want to be selfless and yet I find myself dwelling on...guess who...myself!  We are so prone to wander.  Prone to leave the God we love.  For who?  Often for ourselves.  But the good news is that we don't have to live ashamed and that by His grace He made a way for us to live in fellowship with Him.  Oh the sweet, sweet blood of Jesus!!  He has taken my payment.  And His grace and forgiveness are enough.